A Neve Black Confession:Writing is something I must do, but film does me

I’m a writer without question; a writer through and through. Writing makes my heart sing. Writing is my first love.

Because this is the forum to expose truths, I have a confession to share with all of you: I’ve been cheating on writing with film for years. And as cliché as it may sound, I couldn’t help myself. I was enamored with the visual eye candy; the music; the acting; the big screen; the overall cinematic experience of slipping into a dark theater and stepping away from the bang and clatter of the real world….all of it is so incredibly sexy and romantic to me.

I had such a good time cheating the first time that I went back for more. Before too long I realized I had fooled around and fell in love with film. And as romantic as film can be, I was someone else’s someone. I was living with writing. I love writing very deeply and I love my life with writing too, thus I knew I would never completely leave writing for film. Writing gets me and I get writing. Writing and me have been together for so long that we’d be lost without each other, but I also knew there was something that fascinated me about film – film fulfilled a need within me and before meeting film, I didn’t know I was missing it.

I felt horrible for cheating on writing. Time and time again I tried to walk away from film; feeling guilty and shameless for cheating, and knowing that no good could come from my double life. I didn’t want to hurt writing, so I would stay away from film; vowing to never do that again, and then I would remember a little detail about film, like film’s sweet perfume – fresh, hot buttered popcorn and before I knew it, there I was sitting in a dark theater with film once again.  So you see, film taunted me; teasing me and reeling me in until I’d succumb to film’s captivating ways and sneak off to my local art house theater so I could secretly meet my naughty mistress.

I was of course addicted. Addicted to film.

Writing suspected something was going on too, but I denied my affair. I told writing the suspicions were all in writing’s head. 

 I know. I know. Shameful.

As my relationship with film grew deeper, film began to get restless – film wanted more of me. I felt pulled in two directions – how could I choose? I finally came to realize that I would have to bite the bullet and confess to writing that I had been sneaking around with another lover. And to be honest it was painful for me to continue to do this to writing – I have such deep respect for writing.

 So one day, I poured myself a rather tall glass of tequila; licked the salt and bit the lime and came clean about my long-term love affair with film. I didn’t know what to expect – dishes breaking, slamming doors, stomping around, yelling…crying?

Writing was its ever typical self: silent and pondering the information…finally, writing spoke. Surprisingly, writing admitted to also having an attraction for film. How could I have not seen that? I’d been so selfish; so consumed with my own needs that I wasn’t tuned into writing. Writing understood my desire and said that if film would agree to it, writing would be up for a threesome, with one caveat: as long as I spent quality time with writing and we shared special moments that didn’t include film.

I was zealous with writing’s proposal to say the least. Suffice to say, I agreed.

As time went by, the three of us have all become quite close, so much so that the three of us have been living together under one roof for about a year now. 

So as I type this confession to you today, it’s Sunday and writing and film are frolicking together in my mind.  And it’s not just any Sunday either, because today is the day of the Oscars: the prestigious awards for the best of best in film. I can feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach… and tonight at my own local Oscar party, about 2500 miles east of Hollywood; I’m acting as the Mistress of Ceremonies. Once you see my Oscar outfit this year, you just might think that I was actually walking the red carpet in ostentatious Hollywood.

And in my mind I suppose I am. This year, as I walk that Hollywood red carpet I have two dates: writer on one arm and film on the other; both my lovers; my friends; my confidants at my side.

And this year, this threesome has been nominated for best screenplay….one of the best types of threesomes….

Writing is nothing new for Neve Black. She has been writing since she can remember and opted for a degree in English Literature. Between studying the classics and surfing the Southern California coastline, Neve discovered she also had affection for writing erotic literature, which she believes comes from her interest in scratching at the under-belly of society.  Neve’s novel, Sex Through the Zodiac was published in January, 2009. You can also read her erotic work in the on-line magazine, Oysters and Chocolate, and various anthologies like, Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotic Writers, Erotic Stories of Every Color, Ambrosia, Men in Shorts, and Sex and Shoes. You can contact Neve via e-mail at black.neve@gmail.com

31 Responses to “A Neve Black Confession:Writing is something I must do, but film does me”

  1. Utterly, utterly delightful, Neve! Have you sold the film rights yet to this fabulous essay? ; )

  2. Ach! I can relate. I love the way you approached this conundrum!

    I definitely have a love for film as well as writing, though I must say in my case, the writing trumps film for the most part. But there are times when I write, I think of film as the conduit in my mind for the ideas I’m going to write. Essentially taking a more cinematic approach to a story.

    Thanks for this sexy little creative adventure!

  3. Hi Jeremy,
    Muchas gracias, mi amigo! No, *shakes her head* no film rights to any of my highly imaginitive and cinematic dreams…yet anyway. :-)

  4. Hi Craig!
    Yes, I know. You and I share the love of film and writing quagmire. My heart aches for writing. My heart ahces for film. What to do? What to do? Oh, well, of course, write a screenplay, of course! Oh, if it were only that easy.

    Interesting how you also visualize the imagery of the big screen when you’re formulating a story. I love that!

  5. I just saw Novel Writing Month is doing Script Frenzy in April…

    Lovely piece, but I can’t work out why none of the gentlemen have said that about your ASS yet!

    • Jo!
      Yes, Heidi Champa was so sweet to give me the heads up about the Script Writing Frenzy earlier this week. It’s that pesky time issue that I have , or that I don’t have (don’t we all?). Argh. I think the only thing to do is to kick sleep to the curb…no sleep leaves plenty of time for other things…heh.

      Ah, thanks for the ass compliment. I appreciate that. Gentlemen? We have gentlemen in the erotic world (smiles lovingly)?

  6. Neve,
    This story makes me giddy.
    You’re smoking HAWT in every imaginable way!

  7. Are girls allowed to wax eloquent about that wonderful ass, too? And I’m just enthralled with the Oscar dress–you definitely need two dates to do justice to that sparkly number :-). Your essay had me grinning all the way through. Writing is a rather broad-minded lover, isn’t s/he? I have to admit I have my own secret relationship with screenwriting. I have no desire to actually do it, but I find how-to books on that craft much more inspiring than how-to-write-a-novel books. Robert McKee’s Story is my number one favorite. It taught me to appreciate storytelling in a whole new way, and yes, I too sometimes “play the movie” of my story as I write. I have to agree it is a well-matched threesome. I’m sure you all will cook up some very good stories with that chemistry.

    • Hi Donna,
      Thank you. I’m humbled by your compliments. Really.

      I think that’s cool that both you and Craig also “play the movie” of the stories you’re working on – I didn’t know that other writers also did this. This only adds more justification to the fact that I’ve indeed found my peeps – you guys are my soul-lines, you know. :-) Oh, and thanks for the tip on Robert McKee’s Story…I’ll have to be sure and check that one out. Thanks, chica!

      Yes, writing is as broad-minded element. Always expanding and changing forms for the greater good. I love it!

  8. Heheh, Jo, I do believe I am already on record as far as admiring that ass. It’s true that it does bare [stet] repeating–I just didn’t want to make a pain in the … ass of myself about it. ; )

    • Jeremy,
      I’m beginning to feel a like an “ass object”….*throws back of hand to forehead with high dramtic affect*.

      Ahem. I don’t mind a bit. I’m flattered.

      Oh, and you…could NEVAH be PIA.

      Thank you for coming back a second time too…I’m not sure why my post was experiencing pre-post syndrome…perhaps it was stage fright…performance anxiety…or maybe it had something to do with my ass? Just saying…. :-)

  9. […] A Threesome of Film, Writing and Woman by Neve Black […]

  10. This is so sweet Neve! Threesomes are the best – and what could beat a threesome with writing and movies, eh?

    Were you happy with the Hurt Locker/Kathryn Bigelow result then? :-)

    P.S: you look fantastic. Love those gloves!

    xoxo
    Janne

    • Hi Janine-y!
      Thank you. Only another erotic writer would find my cheating ways sweet – I love you guys!

      Oh, I was in tears over Hurt Lockers wins. First woman! Yes! Journalistic writes Oscar screenplay! Yes! I still have goose pimples.

      You can borrow those silver gloves anytime, baby.

  11. You look fabulous darling, fabulous, just sparkling kiss kiss…

    Another sparkling post. Sparking thought in yet another direction. What a fascinating triad, Neve, very well put. I too, love film. My issue is that I like film without words. Just as I like words without images, because I want to draw the picture for you with words, I want to evoke the sensations in images (film) without words. Weird huh? There is a film sequence in my head. Let me see if I can draw it for you with words.

    An small eleventh century church on a mountain spur in densely forested northern Tuscany. The interior is baroque, a little gaudy, rich, time worn gilt, soaring ceiling, candelabre, stained glass windows let in light and dust swirls in the shafts. The air is cool and musty.

    A woman sits alone in the pew. She is dressed in black with a small black hat and a fine net covering all but her red lips and pale chin. The unaccompanied choir begins ‘Tu sei la mia vita’ slowly, quietly, rhythmically with alto voices. The priest speaks quietly. The choir sings louder. The congregation joins the singing. The bass voices overcome the higher ranges, to crescendo. A tear glints on her chin.

    I would love to flash film that. Is there such a thing? Oh, it’s called YouTube you say? I’ll let you know if I do it!

    Thanks Neve for sparking this line of thought!

    xx

    • Hi Isabel,
      You’re amazing with your literary/cinematic image. I love it! Maybe one we’ll work on a film together?

      Thank you so much for the sweet thoughts. I do try and have a lot of fun – no matter what. Hey, that’s what life is all about, right?

      baci right back at ya’!

  12. Wow, Isabel, the image of the woman in the church is already so vivid in my mind from your words, I’m not sure we need film. Although of course, the film version would elicit a different response…. What an inspiration your post is in such beautifully unexpected ways, Neve. And fun, pleasure, joy, paying attention, feeling deeply, that is definitely what life is all about :-).

  13. Fantastic essay, Neve. And I certainly can’t fault you for your choice in lovers ;)

  14. Donna,
    My love, thank you, again. Yes, I do think Isabel’s words are vividly gorgeous. Heavy sigh…see what the cinema does to we writer folk? What a fabulous menage a many!

    Cheers to everyone. I’m snuggling into bed. This filmy/writer is pooped.

  15. Fabulous picture, Neve! And your delight at being in the middle of said threesome seems to show in that second one. ;)

    I found this post just delightful! I was actually reminded of you quite a bit today because I am in Florida and was on the beach for the first time in some time. I remembered you grew up around the beach and recalled your mention of surfing as I watched waves I can hardly imagine riding a board over (or under, or on, or whatever exactly one does while surfing).

    Anyway, thank you for this clever, entertaining, effervescent post! It was a delight (that word just seems to be bubbling up in response to your account) to read and indeed a fascinating angle for F-Stop! Xoxoxo

    • Hi Em!
      If I was with you, I’d draw a board in the sand and first show you how to jump onto the board in the sand before taking into the water and actually riding the waves. It’s all about being comfortable in the water and respecting mother nature. You can’t fight her, so you have to let go and let her take you – it could be the ride of your life! It’s such an amazing experience. It’s a lesson I wish everyone could experience.

      Thank you for your kind words and I’m so happy that you enjoyed my threesome – (wink-wink). I’m really looking forward to reading your post soon!

      Get some great sun for me, will ya’?

      Kisses

  16. Thanks Neve and Donna!

    This really is turning into such an inspirational blog/journey, thank you again to you both and Shanna, for setting it up.

    xx

    • Isabel,
      You sweetie-pie, you! Where’s your essay? Hmmmm….maybe a post Spring early summer expose?

      Thank you so much for your always delightful and sensuous thoughts. I feel like I eat them right off the page. :-)

  17. Neve, so sorry to be late to the party, but yesterday I was driving through driving rain (and lightning and hail) to visit a friend and while there I didn’t think to ask to check this space. But I remembered first thing this morning!

    I am sooooooo glad that writing turned out to be open-minded, because there is so much that can be gained. And that’s definitely a hot threesome!

    Ah, and to keep your wonderful metaphor going…

    In high school I filled out one of those compatibility profiles (aptitude test) to see who was most suitable for me. At the time I was seeing science. A marine biologist to be exact. I’d broken up with writing a couple of years previously (parental disapproval). Who should I supposedly be compatible with? A screenwriter of all people! I was shocked and laughed it off. Silly. No way.

    Fast forward. Science just didn’t work out. Though we still keep in touch. After flitting around from one to another, but finally, surprise surprise, I ended up with writing. But screenplay’s always been hanging back in the shadows, and I do wonder sometimes…. ;-)

    Lovely and fun post and yes, what an ass!

    Again, (I’ll probably say this everytime) – this blog’s concept is awesome!

    • Oh, Robin, no apologies are needed here in F-stop. I’m glad you could make it. Can I take your coat? How about a nice glass of delicious red to help warm you up?

      Hey, sometimes people, place and feelings cross our paths and we never forget them, but for whatever reason at that time, we go in different directions. So when our paths cross again, it’s a nice little surprise isn’t? Saying hello to an old friend. What could be yummier? I’m telling you there’s some bewitching about film, isn’t there? I thought I was the only one she was seeing, but damn…she sure gets around and appears to have quite a captivated audience. I’m cool with that b/c, well I’m a damn cheater – a two-timer at that!

      Great story and thanks so much for finding your way out of the rain and into this threesome. Meow.

  18. Oh Neve, I’m happy your threesome is content. Film doesn’t ever pester writing to write a screenplay? I’m surprised. I do both. Screenwriting is easier than writing novels. Trust me. Get a copy of Movie Magic Screenwriter and go for it. The downside – the movie biz is horrible. The upside. Dear God the $$$$$$$. I won’t torture you with how much money you can make selling a script. I’ll tell you this, though – you make as much money selling an OPTION on a script as you’ll ever make from a best selling erotica novel. Just don’t think that a handshake on a deal vis a vis screenwriting is worth anything, because it isn’t. They’re almost all lunatics – and by ‘they’ I mean, in particular, producers, but also actors, story runners, directors – the whole ‘above the line’ bunch except, of course, the writer, who is assumed to have absolutely no ego.
    If the movie goes ahead, you’re a genius. If they can’t get the $$ together it’s because your previously ‘brilliant’ screenplay is crap. By all means give it a shot but pity the screenwriter who has no other outlet, and keep on writing that fiction!

    • Madeline,
      I simply adore you. Yes, film has pestered and succeeded writing to pen a screenplay. I’ve been writing a screenplay for a couple of years now. And I have something like a gazillion notes of other screenplay ideas scribblled down in writing journals. I do think that screenplays might be my calling in life, actually. I’m trusting you and will absolutely purchase a copy of the Movie Magic Screenwriter book. Thank you for that. ;-)

      I have soooo many interests and so little time, but I always stay tried and true to both writing and film.

      Yes, I’ve heard the evil ways of the movie business. Back-stabbing, you’re hot, you’re cold. Let’s just say it’s a crazy business. But gods, I’d love to be smack dab in the middle of the crazy pot of boiling Hollywood film water. I just love everything about the idea of creating the words to a great film.

      Wish you were closer; we could have coffee and discuss this one-on-one. I will keep you posted on my screenplay’s progression.

      Thank you for taking the time to post your comments, not only for me, but for other contributor’s here as well.

      Big Hollywood hugs and kisses, dahlinque.

  19. I am not sure I could write a screenplay myself, but I think it would be a hell of a lot of fun to try. Unlike writing, however, I would have no idea what to do with it once I wrote it. Wonderful piece!

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