Brad Garber

I’m 55 years young; have 65 more to go, based on what an Ouija board told me in 1963, shortly after JFK’s untimely demise. I, like Craig, started running around naked, with a friend, in my pre-pubescent years. There was something adventurous and a little naughty about playing in Buffalo Creek, in the nude, on a hot summer day. I, unlike Craig, did not get caught in my wood-nymph state; rather, I was “caught” mimicking the photographic poses of nude females in the pseudo-privacy of my bedroom. I knew there was something sexy about those females, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. I thought that, if I tried to strike their model poses, I might get something out of it. And, I did. It felt good, to be sitting naked on the floor of my bedroom, my chest out, my shoulders back. When my mother discovered the girlie mag under the mattress of my bed, I was humiliated by my father, and was forbidden to share the company of the friend who had given me the porn. It so happened that it was the same friend who shared the idyllic afternoons with me, in the creek. It was the first time that I experienced a limitation on my expression of sensuality, and it left an impression.

At age 10, I could not figure out how I had hurt anyone by exploring my sexuality on the floor of my bedroom. I was caught somewhat by surprise by the ferocity and artificiality of it all. I complied with my father’s wishes and never shared moments in the sun with that friend. In fact, it was not until years later that I started exploring the sensuality of what is now referred to as “naturism.” (It’s all just plain nudity, to me). As the years went by, I started expanding my horizons. I would lie in the sun nude, run nude, drive my car nude, sit around the house nude, cook nude, ski nude, bike nude and…the best of all things…fuck nude! At age 35, I did my first nude modeling gig, with a photographer who invited several models for a frolic, out on an isolated Oregon beach. The experience was exhilarating. There I was, naked on a beach, exercising my artistic expression at the business end of a camera. I was hooked. I’ll admit, I’m a ham.

My exhibitionist tendencies reached a certain apex of manifestation when I became an art model, at age 40. By age 50, when I decided my degenerative left hip could no longer take the pain, I had modeled for nearly every art department and private studio in Portland. I was in a certain amount of demand, which was gratifying, seeing as how most artists would rather draw female bodies. Being naked, on a stage, in a room full of clothed artists, was a bit empowering. It made me question, even more, how sensual (as opposed to baldly sexual) expression could harm anyone. The more I was naked, the better I felt about myself. It was a win-win situation.

Writing about sex, with sensual elements thrown in to break up the monotony, is something I started trying out in the 80’s, after my first divorce. After all, there is only so much masturbation one can engage in. I had had some poetry and prose published, in the past, so I knew I could write something that someone might take interest in. I didn’t quite know how to go about writing smut, but I’d read some in Penthouse Forum, so I sort of had an idea. I knew porn when I saw it. It was a titillating experience, I must admit, sitting there dreaming up ridiculous sexual scenarios. Thinking about fantasies is one thing; writing them down on paper is another. I wrote and wrote, cataloguing fantasy after fantasy. Oddly, I only tried to get one story published. And it was! To my great surprise, Penthouse Forum purchased one of my stories. Wow! I was hooked. But, job, daughter, second marriage, health, yada yada yada, took me away from writing for a few years.

It was not until I met my soul mate, Gina (you all know her), that the fires were rekindled. Now, not only do I write, I run around naked and model and fuck in the weeds on hot summer days! I have a wealth of experience to write about that, from all current indications, will never end until my bony spent wilted body is burned up and scattered to the four winds. And, so… my story, and some photographic evidence to back up my rambling.

Brad Garber (“BadAss” to his friends and competitors) is a Midwestern transplant who has lived in Oregon long enough to grow moss.  He has had poetry published in Cream City Review, Alchemy, Fireweed and Mercury, and collaborative erotica in Oysters & Chocolate and Clean Sheets under the pseudonym, “Daisy James.”  In 2003, he was a semi-finalist in the USA Songwriting Competition, and was an Honorable Mention in 1980 and 1981.  He has had painting shows in various venues, in Portland, since 1997.  He has been a model since about 1995, and has appeared in erotic photos in Libido and Cupido, as well as print ads for Oocha Brew, Plavix and St. Joseph’s Hospital and video ads for Cabella’s.  His “day job” involves the legal system, in one form or another.  He is in love with Gina, and shall so be, until the shrinking universe undergoes the next “Big Bang.”

14 Responses to “Brad Garber”

  1. Hey BAK, What an inspiring story–follow your curiosity, your passion, your love, and beauty, art and pleasure will follow. The roots seem to go back to childhood for all of us and art modeling was clearly in your blood. Loved the photos and would love to see more! Thanks so much for this.

  2. Hi Brad,

    Not surprisingly, I can relate to a lot that you wrote here. Truth was, I had been known to “strike a pose” back in the day; I can kind of understand what you were searching for with that. I was never caught at it, nor was my rather impressive cache of Playboys and Penthouses discovered. I think my parents would have taken either of those better than catching me running nude. But I’m only guessing.

    You and Gina are an inspiration, free and wild and taking life by the balls. I’m glad to discover how you came through those early setbacks and made the most of them, creatively, and in the way you approach life.

    Cheers on your many, many birthdays to come!

  3. I loved your opening line here, Brad. “…I am 55 years young…” That sentiment in of itself speaks volumes of your free-spirited personality. A personality that we’ve all grown so fond of out here in webland. And yes, Craig is correct, both you and Gina have and continue to be a true inspiration for all of us – grabbing life the balls – so-to-speak.

    They say the “naked” truth always exposes itself. You can’t hide from it. You can try and push it down in an attempt to suppress, because others may not particularly care for who or what we are, but damn, the truth finds a way. It makes us feel alive, doesn’t? Probably much like doing as many things naked as possible, yes? I’m so glad your “naked” truths found their way – breaking the surface for all of us that truly enjoy seeing, knowing and exploring.

    Fabulous images and I always enjoy reading your work. Thank you for contributing. Welcome to F-stop!

  4. Thanks Donna! Seems like everything we are originated in that “Big Bang” known as sex. When that little egg and that little sperm united, that universe that is “me” was created, in all of its sensual glory. So far, the universe is expanding at the speed of light.

    And thanks, Craig! Gina and I have one of those “perfect storm” things going on. It never stops. We just keep soaking in the air, the sun, the rain, and the tendrils twist.

    Finally, thanks Neve, for providing this forum! It’s so difficult to explain to the Puritans what we feel and do. It’s so gratifying to be able to share myself with others of the same ilk. Ultimately, I believe we are the ones to live the fullest lives because we appreciate the world as the simple sexual animals we really are.

  5. This is a happy, happy naked story 🙂

    And with lovely photos!

  6. What a beautiful essay! So personal and yet so full of the potential for universal extrapolation. Thanks so much for sharing this, BAK.

    “It was the first time that I experienced a limitation on my expression of sensuality, and it left an impression.

    At age 10, I could not figure out how I had hurt anyone by exploring my sexuality on the floor of my bedroom.”

    I found this so poignant. The first sentence struck me because I imagine it did leave an impression, and also because you recognized it (it seems) so specifically as such a limitation. And then the second sentence so clearly and succinctly articulates something without presenting any argument, per se — just an observation. To me, its simplicity and innocence as such speaks volumes.

    Thank you, Brad, for sharing this beautiful and inspiring offering. All best to you!

  7. Thank you, Emerald! It’s amazing how parents influence their children through the, seemingly, most innocuous and well-meaning gestures. In my case, the incomprehensible reaction of my parents to my sexual awakening left an indelible imprint on my psyche. I have striven to be a better parent, as a result.

  8. Thank you, Brad! It’s great to get the BAKstory on our esteemed (and naked) Renaissance man.

    I think one of the many lessons you bring in this terrific narrative is not to hide one’s light under a basket. Or one’s anatomy. : )

  9. Just getting to this now (a few glasses of wine, dessert of strawberries with whipped cream and angel food cake shortly, a movie – Pirate Radio – and then some wild sex), but I’m so glad I got here!

    There is something so life-affirming about embracing our sensual/sexual nature that just makes me get all filledwithjoy. It had been a joy watching you and Gina (and your respective blogs which reflect your creativity) over the past year and a half!

    What is wonderful about this essay is your unabashed pride in your modeling. That’s something I didn’t know, but now makes perfect sense. You have an artist’s eye in how you see things, and it’s reflected in your writing. I remember being taken by your blog very early on, when I first started blogging, and I found it through Gina’s. I’m very glad I did.

    Thank you for a wonderful F-stop post! I was wondering who would be on tap for mother’s day! 😉

  10. Thanks, Jeremy! Let it shine, let it shine! And, thanks Robin! The artist’s eye is, in all of us, nurtured by the understanding that we are all art.

  11. Yayyyy! I have never met anyone who embraced freedom in all aspects of their life with such ferocity, bravery, and beauty. Your enthusiastic, unique approach to the notion of “a life well lived” is so refreshing and fun. Hell, even going grocery shopping with you is an adventure. I hadn’t played hide-and-seek between the aisles with finger pistols since I was four. You have made the world a better place for so many people by listening, accepting, and saying, “Yes, yes you can. You can fly. Go. Do it.” Paint that picture, write that story, sing that song. You are rare and wonderful. You were only the second man and third person in real life outside of the secret “blogland” who ever read my erotic work. It’s scary to reveal something like that to the world — especially after being rejected and shamed. That kind of acceptance is so powerful and healing. I love you, muse!

  12. Thanks, sweetie! I’ve never had such a fun and willing companion. It’s so nice to finally have someone in my life who is truly a partner. Before you, one other person had ever read MY erotic work. That, of course, resulted in disastrous consequences. So, you can imagine my surprise to find someone who actually shared my passion and accepted it with an open mind. We have given each other wings. I love YOU, muse! Wanna go shopping?

  13. Aw, this was lovely! Good on you, Brad!

  14. Thanks, Janine!!

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